Detention
by GallonsoftheStuff
Summary: The pranks that lead to the detentions! For Hogwarts House Challenges. Self-insert drabbles, also featuring RedButterfly33, AKA, the infamous Red!
1. Painting the Town Red (and Yellow)

**A/N: Troublemakers have all the fun! But then have to do the work. For my first detention (but third prank), here you are.**

* * *

As soon as the last class of the afternoon let out, I bolted through the door and raced through the halls for my common room. Well. I would have raced, if not for the knots of students that kept blocking my path and delaying me ( _bloody first years, gawking like they haven't seen a ghost before_ ).

But eventually, much mental cursing of the human race's tendency to move slowly when in groups later, I made it to my common room – only to skip through, saying no more than "YAY! Go Loki!" to our House Champion as I made my way to my dorm room. Once there, I cast a series of variations on the Muffliato Charm around my bed, accompanied by several spells to turn away eyes and generally hide what I was about to do. Then, and only then, did I set to work.

It was late evening before I finished, grinning down into two nondescript paint buckets – one full of red paint, one of yellow – with two equally nondescript paint brushes attached to their handles. "Let them try to get rid of _this_ stuff," I said, an evil cackle escaping me before I stifled it, glancing around furtively to make sure no one had heard me.

Thankfully, I was alone in the dorm room still – the others likely working on homework or chatting in the common room, maybe the library. A quick wave of my wand adding a Feather-light charm to the buckets, for convenience (without it, lugging over a gallon of paint around the school would not be easy), before I snatched them up and made my way down to the Library, the agreed-upon meeting place.

I spotted Red easily and made my way over, grinning as I set the paint beside her. "Here you go, my friend." My grin only got bigger as I kept my own pail in my hand. "Ready to start?"

The other girl grinned back at me. "Totally. That's not any of the weak Muggle stuff, is it?"

"Nope!" I replied, explaining the gist of everything I had proofed the paint against. "They won't be getting rid of this for a _long ass time_."

"Awesome! Ready? Go!"

Both of us darted out of the library, practically flying through the school to paint our tag on every wall, pot, bookshelf and ceiling we could get our hands on. In less than fifteen minutes (yes, there was magic involved in getting around the enormous castle that fast, but I'm not going to tell you what it was!), nearly every room in the school bore the words **TROUBLEMAKERS RALLY** in some shape or form, in either blood red or canary yellow paint.

(I have to admit, those extra spells on the paintbrushes really helped to give each room a little bit of individuality – I never would have managed to repeat our tag over and over again in that little cursive lettering in the Slytherin common room without being caught without it!)

I took a bit of extra glee in slathering the walls of the Detention office with the tag, and the paintbrush picked up on it, adding dozens of **HEHEHE** s to the words. I was a little worried about that for just a moment, but then decided it was nice touch and left it – a little because even _I_ wasn't sure how to get the paint off the walls.

* * *

 **A/N: For a look at the planning that goes into these pranks (if anyone besides our Headmistress Clairebear1982 or Deputy Headmistress Little. Miss. Xanda is reading this), check out RedButterfly33's fic of the similar title, _Detention_ , at ****s/11355381/1/Detention**


	2. Ravenclaw Revenge

**A/N: Just a quick one. I in no way mean to make _fun_ of those with dyslexia. This is merely a prank targeting the pride of Ravenclaw. **

* * *

_The door of the Ravenclaw boys' dorm creaked open slowly, revealing a hooded figure, the outline of a wand pointing ominously at the unsuspecting students sleeping soundly in their beds_.

Well. The door _would_ have creaked, except I had cast a silencing charm on it, on the off chance that it wasn't properly taken care of (hard to imagine, with the army of house elves running around the school). Just like I would have been standing there, ominous in my cloak with my wand drawn, except I was half-doubled over trying to stifle giggles. If only I had asked Red to cast a silencing charm on _me_ before we split up to pull this prank… But I had thought I would be able to hold it together a little better than I was at the moment.

If I was just a little better at casting spells on myself… but I never managed to get the movements right when pointing toward my own body instead of someone else's. It was a good thing I had Red around to practice with – we'd gotten this spell down to nearly perfect before agreeing to use it on the Ravenclaws.

Ah, well. I could laugh it up when I got out of here. After I cast this spell and got the 'claws back for their antics. It wouldn't last long – just a few hours, six at the most – but it would be enough to cause havoc in the bookish House as they tried to get through their morning classes. By lunch, it would wear off.

Pulling myself together, I straightened up and, a few deep breaths later, walked into the room – glad I had foregone shoes for the noise they would make, but mentally cursing the cold stone floor. Seriously – why didn't the Ravenclaws have more fireplaces in their dorm?!

I didn't know any of the boys in the beds – I had yet to meet a Ravenclaw boy, I think – but that did not stop me from flicking my wand at each of them in turn and murmuring the spell too quietly to wake any of them up. I kept having to stop and hold back snickers between each student, but soon enough, the fifth years were done and I moved on to the next room.

Hopefully Red was making good time as well – and hopefully the marking spell we put on Sally (more formally known as Owls) would keep her from accidentally jinxing her as well. That girl did not need the stress of being temporarily dyslexic – it would probably push her over the edge and she would need, like, _ten_ doses of calming draught before she even remotely resembled normal, slightly-uptight, Owls again.

Red really had the best ideas – well, mine were alright, but they tended to be a little… _complicated_. It was much easier to jinx the Ravenclaws with dyslexia for a few hours than to go around spelling all the _books_ so they couldn't read them. We made a great team.

Outside in the hallway, I let myself chuckle – just once! – as I imagined the absolute chaos that would be House Ravenclaw when they woke up in the morning. They would pull out their books, open them up… and not be able to read them. It would be hilarious. I wished technology worked in Hogwarts so I could set up cameras and record their reactions – since I planned to be safely back in my common room by the time they all woke up and discovered their little predicament. Still. It was going to be great.

And the last practice version of the spell on Red and me would wear off in just a couple more hours, so we would be fine going into our morning classes.

* * *

 **A/N:** **For a look at the planning that goes into these pranks (if anyone besides our Headmistress Clairebear1982 or Deputy Headmistress Little. Miss. Xanda is reading this), check out RedButterfly33's fic of the similar title, _Detention_ , at ****s/11355381/2/Detention**

 **Until next time, dearies!**


	3. Brightening Up the Slytherins

"HEY! No need to cast silencing spells on me this time! Since we're hitting them in broad daylight," I said to Red as we jogged down the hidden passage to the Slytherin common room – we were too excited to restrain ourselves to a walk. She flashed me a grin, but didn't say anything – we were at the door already, and I shifted my focus to the task ahead.

Storming into the Slytherin common room, we started firing modified _Tinctus_ spells immediately, knowing we had a very limited window of time before our victims reacted, located us, and started throwing hexes and jinxes. Red got off the first one and I snickered at the sight of Mags turning a sparkling pink before I shifted my eyes to my own targets. I spotted Uni almost immediately and hit her with our Color charm – her skin and hair and robes turned white and purple, making her look like Gotamon from Digimon.

Red and I saw Amy and fired at the same time, making the young Slytherin sparkly sky blue before moving on. I hit Fire, turning her plum – Red got Wolf, who became a dark gray. In quick succession, I cast the spell on three Slytherins – LaVida was a random shade of blue; Follicle changed to magenta; Gandalf flickered between glowing white and a sickly shade of gray.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Red's targets – Kinsie looked almost pretty, her colors the pale blues and oranges of sunset, while Rasiaa was almost comical in a solid orange that matched one of my favorite manga character's hair. Donna, who Red knew, she turned crimson, and I hit E. Red's brother with a mustard yellow. Reckoners creepy features were bright, _bright_ pink by the time I was done, and Wolfey got to be a perfect shade of Slytherin green, since she liked our graphitti prank.

Red rounded off our numbers by changing Jennise the color of Kentucky grass, Fezzes to cobalt blue, and the girl who gave the Gryffindors their pet dragon Cuddles, Laura, got the royal treatment when my friend turned her red and gold. I hit Doll with Hufflepuff yellow and black at the same time Red changed Pooh a sparkly lemon-yellow, and then together we made Hologram look like Captain America – blue with white stars.

With the last of the Slytherins changed to wild colors, we darted back into the secret passageway, high-fiving and laughing. We managed to get them all without getting hit with a single jinx or hex or curse ourselves! I could hear groans as the Slytherins tried to _Finite_ the colors, only to have our flashing countdown of six hours appear.

"Oh man, I LOVE pranking!" Red gasped out, laughing so hard she had to lean on the wall.

Laughing only slightly less hard, I danced around, triumphant. "I can't keep still! Pranking is so much fun!"

Just as I was about to ask where we should go to wait for the fallout, I heard Deputy Headmistress Xanda's voice and grinned. Throwing caution to the wind – we were going to get detention for this anyway, I knew – I poked my head back out the secret entrance and fired another _Tinctus_ at the former-Slytherin, turning her fuchsia.

Seconds behind her was Headmistress Claire, yelling out our detentions even if we were hidden. Laughing too hard to speak, I waved my hands at Red.

"What color?!" she exclaimed.

"I don't know!" I laughed. "The opposite of fuchsia? TEAL? TURQUIOSE?" I collapsed against the wall, unable to breathe through my amusement.

Red pulled a color wheel from nowhere and fired the spell at our irate Headmistress, and I about die from the hilarious sight of her turning yellow.

Just as Claire found us and gave us detention, I passed out from the lack of oxygen. Sometimes, our pranks really were _too_ funny.

* * *

 **A/N:** **For a look at the planning that goes into these pranks (if anyone besides our Headmistress Clairebear1982 or Deputy Headmistress Little. Miss. Xanda is reading this), check out RedButterfly33's fic of the similar title, _Detention_ , at ****s/11355381/3/Detention**

 **Until next time, dearies!**


	4. Two Detentions for the Same Thing!

**A/N: Somehow, I got** ** _two_** **detentions for one prank.** **Guess I really shouldn't have turned the Deputy Headmistress fuchsia** **.**

* * *

Sitting in the detention office, flipping my quill back and forth between index and middle finger, I stared sourly down at my parchment. Honestly. How could she give us _two_ detentions for the same thing? Okay, so I knew _why_ she had split it into two detentions – not only had we changed every Slytherin to a wacky and unnatural (for humans, anyway) color, but we had also turned our wands on two of the staff (sure, it was just a continuation of the same prank, but apparently changing staff members fuchsia and golden-yellow counted as something else entirely).

Then there was the unstated reason – by giving us _two_ detentions, we were one detention away from losing house points, an act that would surely set the entirety of both our houses against us. Thus the punishment effectively put a stop to our pranking ways – at least until the end of the month. Five detentions in one month resulted in a loss of five points – and that was unacceptable after all the hard work we (and our housemates) had put into _getting_ those points.

 _Well played, Professor Claire_ , I thought, shifting my acerbic gaze to the woman presiding over the detention hall. _Well played._

Turning my eyes once more to the parchment, I settled on my topic and began to write.

* * *

 _"I regained consciousness to the sound of the Headmistress stating that, with the two detentions she had just given us, we had racked up five detentions in one month – and threatening that one more incident like our genius prank to brighten up the lives of the Slytherins would result in the loss of house points. Immediately, I sat up and stared at her with horrified eyes – but Red was already responding._

 _'No it doesn't!' my friend and partner-in-crime cried. 'We only have **four** detentions.'_

 _'That's right!' I said, relieved. 'I've only written **two** detention pieces so far. That means even if you give us two, we only have **four**.' _

_'And you can't give us two for the same prank!' Red further objected. 'So we only have **three**!' I thanked Merlin for the debate team background the Gryffindor had._

 _From another part of the common room, Loki, the Durmstrang transfer student, cried out against her assigned detention as well – only to start plotting immediately a more 'detention-worthy' action. From another direction, I heard one of the Slytherins mutter in disbelief – about what, I couldn't be sure from where I was. If I had been a little less caught up in our own detention drama, I might have laughed at Loki's response._

 _Professor Claire responded to the protest in her sternest manner – I did not envy the woman's children should they misbehave, though personally, Professor Xanda was much more intimidating – before laughing at Red's and my reactions. 'Made you look!' she laughed. 'That enough to scare you?'_

 _Loki continued to grumble about the unworthiness of trying to give a teacher a feathered tail – even mentioning Professor Dumblebore. I had to agree with her assessment that the deceased Headmaster would have rocked a tail, but I didn't think it would help her case with our current Headmistress._

 _Then said Headmistress sobered, responding to Red's claim that she could not give us two detentions in a chillingly calm voice. 'Oh, I can and I will! It's not bad enough you turned deputy headmistress Xanda a different color, you then decided to turn your wands on me! So **two** it is!' Her expression brooked no argument._

 _'She's proof that Hufflepuffs are secretly evil,' I murmured, staring at the professor in despair. She heard me and **smiled** , going so far as to **wink** at me._

 _'I can be a bitch when it's required! Ask my kids.'_

 _Still, Red tried to get us out of at least one of the detentions. 'Professor Claire, we can't write about the same pranks **twice**.' Turning up the charm, the Gryffindor added, 'Yellow looks good on you.'_

 _Joining my fellow prankster in the mission to get us out of at least part of our punishment, I smiled winningly. 'If you dress in black, Headmistress, you'll be our House colors!' Okay, so maybe I just wanted to poke fun at the results of our prank."_

* * *

I stopped writing to scowl at the parchment, then glanced to the side to see how Red was fairing with this second assignment. The sight of her scribbling the same thing, _"Professor Claire Can't Take a Joke"_ , over and over again on her paper had me covering my mouth to stifle a laugh. If only I'd thought of that! Still, I had my word count now, which was all that mattered.

* * *

 **A/N:** **For a look at the planning that goes into these pranks (if anyone besides our Headmistress Clairebear1982 or Deputy Headmistress Little. Miss. Xanda is reading this), check out RedButterfly33's fic of the similar title, _Detention_ , at ****s/11355381/4/Detention**

 **Until next time, dearies!**


End file.
